🅿 Soft Launch - Rolo Dilby’s Restaurant


ROLO Jeff! Lardone! Thank you guys so much for coming.
LARDONE Hey, hey!
JEFF You bet, you bet, you bet!
ROLO Yeah, come in, come in, come in.
JEFF We haven't seen it!
ROLO This is the place! Grand opening is tomorrow.
JEFF Oh my gosh!
ROLO Yeah, I know.
LARDONE It looks amazing! Rolo, you outdid yourself, Rolo!
ROLO Well, you know what, after Karen left me, I just said, "I have to really put my nose
LARDONE Oh yeah, yeah.
ROLO to the grind here and just kind of try to make a name for myself."
LARDONE Yeah, Rolo, you worked so hard all these years. I mean, I'm really proud of you. This place! In New York City!
ROLO Thank you, yeah. Not-
JEFF This place is enormous.
ROLO Not cheap. Yeah.
JEFF Well, have you - did you use any of the Cook-IN money to... do it or did you not?
ROLO I didn't get any.
ROLO None. So yeah.
LARDONE Not a single... not a single hairy penny, huh?
ROLO Nope. I mean they said that I would get something, but it just ended up being advertising.
ROLO But I didn't have anything to advertise, so it expired after three months.
LARDONE Aw, that's a real bummer.
JEFF Okay. Well, let us try the food!
LARDONE Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
ROLO Yeah, yeah, so I have my chef de cuisine is actually prepping my signature. This is gonna be the signature dish that we serve here at Sandeuh. That's the name by the way.
JEFF Ooh, Sandeuh!
ROLO Sandeuh!
LARDONE Who did you get for your chef de cuisine there? I imagine the market's tough here in New York.
ROLO It is really tough. Um, When I actually signed the lease I had to meet the the property owner, but he didn't show up- This is a really funny story-
ROLO I got mugged, behind the building,
JEFF Oh, wow.
ROLO and the guy who mugged me ended up being a chef!
LARDONE What? No way!
ROLO I know.
LARDONE It's like a small world moment, right?
ROLO Right? He was like, "Give me your money." I was like, "I'll do you one better."
JEFF Wow, so...
LARDONE Yeah, you didn't swing- If you didn't swing it with the Cook-IN money, what a... How'd you do it?
ROLO Well...
JEFF Yeah, this place is enor- and you're in Chelsea.
ROLO Yeah, after after Karen left. I took what the money I had left over, which was... two- two sixty?
JEFF Two hundred sixty thousand?
LARDONE 260,000?
ROLO Just two hundred and sixty dollars.
ROLO I bought some letterhead and I started typing up letters and I just reached out to everyone I knew and I got some donors and they were able to raise me... thirty-two million dollars.
JEFF Oh my gosh!
LARDONE Oh wow, that's
LARDONE out of the goodness of their hearts, huh?
ROLO I have to pay it back. So, it's a loan.
JEFF We got some time, I'm sure. That's like 10, 15 year money.
ROLO One year. One year after open is when I have to pay it back.
LARDONE What? Rolo!
ROLO It's okay, because once you try this, this is gonna be a hit, okay? It has to be.
JEFF Okay, yeah, I hope this is...
ROLO And actually, here's the food right now.
JEFF 32 oh great. Yep. Hope this is 32 million dollars worth.
ROLO This is a dry aged Wagyu beef with
JEFF Okay.
ROLO Hen of the F-... Wood... Forest... um
JEFF Hen of the Woods?
ROLO Hen of the Woods mushrooms
JEFF Oh, okay. Good.
ROLO And then Densuke watermelon salad,
ROLO with a shaved Iberian ham,
ROLO and Beluga caviar on the side. because it needs a little more. It needs something a little more indulgent, you know?
JEFF Sure, yeah, that's great!
ROLO I actually- I learned how to make this because I took- I signed up for Chef Naples 'Learn How to Cook' seminars.
JEFF Oh, Naples Florida!
ROLO Yeah.
LARDONE From the... when you were on the... yeah.
ROLO Karen sent me the link because she got a discount from him because she's wi- She's seeing... him.
JEFF Wait, Rolo-
ROLO So I got a discount.
JEFF Your wife, your ex-wife left you
ROLO I got a discount.
JEFF for the chef who beat you on Cook-IN.
LARDONE Oh. Rolo, I'm so sorry. That's rough.
JEFF Oh wow.
ROLO It's okay, hey, you know? Um...
JEFF Well hey, food looks great! Food looks great!
LARDONE Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does!
ROLO Take a bite, take a bite. Yeah,
JEFF Yeah, okay.
ROLO I want to see, you know, how you like it.
LARDONE Yeah! Forks are kind of small. Is that like a sort of part of the fanciness?
ROLO Yeah, yeah, that was... in chapter three.
LARDONE Mmm, it's...
ROLO Good, right?
JEFF What's the spice rub on the beef?
ROLO It's dry aged, so there's no spice.
JEFF There's this uh...
ROLO It's like a chalky, kinda, but...
JEFF No, it's...
ROLO Grit gritty maybe?
JEFF It's like a...
JEFF It's like a veiny taste.
ROLO Okay.
LARDONE Yeah, it's veiny. Yeah, I can feel the vessels in it.
JEFF It tastes a lot... You know when you get-
JEFF What is it? You know when you get stung by a bee?
LARDONE Mmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
JEFF Are you allergic to bees, Rolo?
ROLO Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
JEFF When you get stung by a bee and the second right before you put in the EpiPen.
ROLO Okay.
LARDONE Yeah, the edge of anaphylaxis.
ROLO Oh, oh.
JEFF It tastes like that feels a little bit.
ROLO Is that?
LARDONE Yeah, but sweet, but it's like there's a sweetness to it. Yeah.
JEFF Yeah, it makes my mouth feel really scared.
ROLO So, so good it's scary.
LARDONE Do I have to swallow it?
ROLO Well, you're supposed to eat it.
LARDONE Oh, okay.
ROLO Do you not want to swallow it?
LARDONE No, I do. (coughs)
ROLO I'm just, I'm a little confused because actually neither of you even ate the beef.
LARDONE (coughs)
ROLO That was just, that was mushroom and watermelon.
JEFF That was the watermelon?
ROLO It was... that was the watermelon.
LARDONE I gotta be honest, I've never had... Densuke watermelon before and-
ROLO Yeah, Densuke watermelon comes boneless, But! The texture profile makes it like beef, with- if you put like, bones in.
JEFF Rolo, you... you boned the watermelon?
ROLO But it's not-. it's like a- it's like really thick...spider web type.
JEFF Okay.
ROLO Like spaghe-
JEFF I'm gonna try the beef.
ROLO Okay, yeah, try the beef.
LARDONE Yeah, why don't we try the beef? Mmm. Mmm.
JEFF Wow. Yeah, this- Now this tastes
JEFF very very hot and not spicy
LARDONE Mm-hmm. And kinda... I don't know how else to say this, but dirty?
JEFF Yeah, it tastes like you made Jell-O... out of a bird.
LARDONE Yeah, it's kind of like if Ambrosia was a meat.
JEFF Yeah, that's exactly what it's like.
ROLO I don't know.
LARDONE It's like if Jell-O had to die!
ROLO I don't...
JEFF Yeah! To me, that's exactly what it is. It's like you eat it and I...
ROLOcough Okay.
JEFF Okay, so now we got past the Jell-O part, but it was weird because, you know, meat has a life expectancy, but Jell-O does not. But it tastes like the Jell-O...
LARDONE Mm-hmm. Didn't live as long as it could have, yeah.
JEFF Yeah, it tastes like veal.
ROLO I feel- I feel like-
JEFF But Jell-O
LARDONE Yeah, like if Jello was killed as a child.
ROLO I feel like you're being...
JEFF That's exactly what it tastes like!
LARDONE if Jell-O was killed as a child.
JEFF As a child, yes.
ROLO But I don't think...
LARDONE Yeah, yeah. It tastes like dead child Jell-O
ROLO So would you spend- would you spend $200 on this dish?
LARDONE That's $200?!
JEFF $200 on this dish? I'm... and I mean this as a fr- You and I have known each other for what? 15, 16 years?
ROLO 15, 16.
JEFF about 15, 16.
LARDONE 15, 16.
JEFF Lardone, we've all known each other for about what? 15, 16, 17 years?
LARDONE 15, 16.
JEFF About 17, 16 years?
ROLO 17 yeah?
LARDONE Yeah. 16, 17.
JEFF I mean this as a friend, as a very true friend. I thought this dish was complimentary. all the time.
ROLO Well, aside from this, we only... sell soup.
JEFF What kind of- What kind of soup?
ROLO It's mostly like broth water-